This Time
by Kanan
Summary: One without love is one without purpose. Ritsuka is about to learn that lesson, when old scars come back to haunt him. Will someone come to save him again, or will he finally break? First Loveless fic, please r&r!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own…. Man, what's the name of this anime again? Uhhhhhhhh….

Oh yeah. : p What, I actually have to say it? –SIGH- okay, then… Idon'townLoveless. Happy? T.T;

This Time

The first time it happened, it was a mistake. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time… that's what he told himself. Ritsuka had come home from school a bit earlier than usual, due to a blackout, and so he had no idea what would happen. He expected to enter the house and hear Seimei moving about, somewhere, waiting for him. But no… he wasn't there. It wasn't too much earlier than normal, and Seimei was always home before him. A little curious, the catboy walked about his house, carefully peeking into each one of the rooms in search of his brother.

"Seimei?"

It was so dark, he thought to himself. And Seimei wasn't there. But, that wasn't all that bothered him… he hadn't heard even the smallest of sounds since he'd entered the house. Fear suddenly started to build up inside him as he wondered where his mother was. She hated the dark, if he remembered correctly, and he also… didn't like him. In his fearful state, he didn't hear her coming up behind him, and he didn't know she was there until she grabbed him from behind. Without any warning, her fist came right down and into his chest from behind.

"Die!"

"M-Mother, stop! It's just me!"

"Die! Die! Leave me be, you beast!"

'She must think I'm a robber or something!'

…Yeah, that must be it. He kept telling himself that as she continued to pound on him, and no matter how bad it got, he never lifted a finger against her. Perhaps, somewhere deep in his heart, he hoped she would recognize him and come to her senses. He hoped she would stop on his own. But that wasn't going to happen. Before he knew it, he was being dragged out of the kitchen, and he tried to keep up as she then pulled him up the staircase. Where was she taking him, and what was she going to do? He had no idea, even as his mom threw him into the bathroom and pinned him to the floor. Her knee was painfully sticking up into his back, and he couldn't help but shout out.

"Silence! You filthy thing! I hate you! DIE!!"

-

It was only fifteen minutes before Seimei was home, and he looked about the house with a grimace.

"Knocking over a power converter… Ch'. Soubi, you fool. You should have seen that-"

"Seimei?"

The call was quiet and sweet, and he rose his head to the staircase as his mother was coming down. She walked up and hugged him right away, whispering 'I'm scared of the dark' into his ear. But, though uncomfortable with the closeness, he hugged her back and smiled. He decided that they needed power, so he offered to go downstairs to the basement to fix the fuse box. He really didn't mind, after all. He had some homework he had to finish, and afterward, he'd shower, which meant he'd need the hair dryer. Then he paused, his hand on the final switch, and with a smile, he decided, 'Maybe I'll share one with Ritsuka!'

He liked that idea, and thought about it as the power slowly came back on and he made his way up and down the hall. Ritsuka would be home from school in half an hour, and until then, he could have a little snack. But, as he passed by the phone, it suddenly went off. He would never admit to being startled, but he did jump a bit when it went off unexpectedly. He didn't hear his mom coming to pick it up, so he sighed and lifted the receiver to his ear.

"Moshi moshi. Aoyagi residence."

"Mr. Aoyagi?"

"No, I'm the eldest son."

"Oh, I see. Well, I'm Ritsuka's teacher at school, and I thought I'd call."

"Oh? Is something the matter with him? Does he need to be picked up for some reason?"

"Well, no. Didn't you hear? We let out school about thirty minutes ago… Is he not home yet? How strange."

But it wasn't strange to Seimei. He roughly set down the phone and ran to thekitchen, where he knew his mother would be. sure enough, there she was, standing at the counter with a knife in her hands, ready to cut something for the dinner she was making. She heard him come in, and turned to face him. It was only then that he noticed several wert spots on her dress.

"Seimei, I'm making your favorite dinner today, okay?"

"Mom."

"Mm? What is it, dear?"

"…Where is Ritsuka?"

"Ritsuka? Why… he's in the bath right now."

"So why then… are you wet?"

"I was… helping. Such a good boy today…"

Seimei's heart skipped a beat. He hadn't expected Ritsuka to come home before he did, and their mother had been known to be even more psychotic when it was dark. Without answering is mother, he rushed out of the kitchen and took the stairs two at a time, heading for the upstairs bathroom. The door was closed, but from inside, he could hear the dripping from a faucet. He tried the handle, but it wouldn't budge. Mom was the only one with a key, he cursed to himself. But then again, maybe nothing bad had happened at all, so he rose his hand and just a bit too hard, knocked on the door.

"Ritsuka? Ritsuka, it's me, Seimei! Are you in there?"

(drip) (drip)

There was no reply from the other side of the door, so he knocked harder and yelled.

"Ritsuka, answer me! Damn it… RITSUKA!"

The door made a loud crash as Seimei kicked it in. One of the hinges was definitely broken, but he wasn't concerned with that, or the scare he might have given his mother, all he was thinking about was Ritsuka. The light was switched off, but even through the dark room, his heart sped up. Only a small candle was burning next to the tub, and there was darkness peeking out from the very surface of the water.

"Ritsuka!?"

Seimei switched the light on, and there, resting at the bottom of the small bath, was his younger brother. His whole head was submerged under the water, and no air bubbles were coming up. If that weren't bad enough, his hands were bound with duct tape, and there was some covering his mouth as well. Seimei ran to the tub and reached down into the water to pull his brother back up- the water was scalding hot, even though the boy he held was slightly chilled. He managed to easily hoist the boy from the tub and sat just next to it, cradling him in his lap. After calling a few more times, Ritsuka finally, though weakly, opened his eyes. That's when Seimei removed the tape from his mouth, and immediately, the boy was assaulted with air. He didn't know how starved of it until then, and so he pulled in a deep gulp of air, inevitably choking on it. Seimei, at least relieved that he was alive, smiled down at his brother and patted his back until he was breathing semi-normally again.

Once he'd caught his breath, he weakly opened his eyes again and leaned against the warm body holding him, trying to snuggle into the warmth. His body felt like a cold death… Had he died? Seimei didn't speak. He only hugged Ritsuka and petted his soaked hair softly, letting his brother cling to him and snuggle him.

"S-Seimei…"

"Ritsuka, I'm sorry. I feel responsible for this." But Ritsuka softly shook his head.

"If I had been here, mom wouldn't have…" Again, he shook his head.

"M-mom… not at… fault… An accident… accident…"

He never knew why he had started crying, then.


	2. Chapter 2

Several years had passed since then, but every little detail was still so vivid in Ritsuka's mind. He remembered the dark in the house, the cold chill that wound itself up his spine, and the feel of his mothers shaking hands as they hit him, bound him, and held him just under the water's surface. He even remembered the tears she shed as she it happened. Though it was a terrible, traumatic experience, when he was there, just like that… he almost felt at peace. His body was struggling, but his mind was calm as could be. Maybe he really was willing to die that day, but Seimei…

Memories flowed back into his mind, and he had to relive that horrible day all over again. That's what brought his mind back, and forced him out of his sleep. Not that it had been a calm one to begin with. The poor boy sat upright, dripping with a cold sweat and a light headache forming. His breath was passing by his chapped pink lips in short, uneven gasps, and it felt like his skin was on fire! It was somewhat disturbing… as the quick beating of his heart was pounding in his sensitive ears, drowning out all other noise. …Another nightmare.

Nightmares had plagued the boy much the same way for several nights now, and only getting an hour or so sleep each night was starting to really take its toll on the youngest Aoyagi. Resting his head on his knees, Ritsuka sighed. Slowly but surely, his heart returned to normal, and the thoughts of his dream started to fade… but his living memory probably never would.

Ritsuka had denied it a thousand times… to his therapist, to his brother…to himself. But he cried, then, and that's what gave him away. His mother and the tub… him being pushed under the water… It wasn't because his mother was confused, it was because… she wanted him to die. She wanted him dead, and between the two of them… he was willing to do so for her. Sure, he was afraid of dying, but being alone, he found, was far more terrifying. Sure, he had Yuiko and Yayoi and… Soubi… but somehow, he still felt empty inside. His heart ached from loneliness and he grabbed his shirt above his chest and sobbed until morning.

Later in the day, while his mother was still making breakfast for him, or was it for the other "Ritsuka", the boy got his school bag and left the house. He said a small goodbye to his mother but didn't wait to be yelled at before closing the door behind him. He was close to an hour early, and there was a slight chill in the air, but he ignored it and walked to school, anyway, half-hoping that the cold would keep him awake.

Forty minutes later, his teacher also arrived, only to find the petite student sitting on the floor just outside the classroom door. But his head was down, and his body lightly shivering. This worried her, and she knelt down to tap lightly on his shoulder, but she was relieved slightly when he rose his head, looking tired, but not hurt or anything. She let him into the room and watched as he slumped down and almost curled up in his seat. It would probably be another ten or fifteen minutes before the other students would be there, and though she was confused about his early arrival, she chose to stay quiet about it. But, there was something she could do about his shivering.

Ritsuka was so out of it, he didn't notice as his teacher left, briefly. He was trying to control his shivering, and cursing himself for not bringing a thicker coat. Surely, it would warm up later in the day, but leaving early was probably not a good idea. The next thing he knew, however, was a sense of warm coming from right next to him. He opened his eyes and looked. He saw a cup, and a slender hand. He followed the hand up, a surprised look on his face, to his teacher. Why was she…?

"You looked cold, so please, drink this."

"What… is it?"

"Cocoa. Oh. Do you not like it?"

It just wasn't often that someone offered him something like that without being asked… but he was grateful. He took the cup that he was offered and took a small sip, already starting to warm up.

"Well?"

"Mm. It's good. Thank you, sensei." This made her smile.

"You're welcome! If you ever need anything at all, you can talk to me, okay?"

He nodded his head, and she cheerfully returned to her desk. He could talk to her…? It was a nice idea, but not one that he could fall back on, given his situation. His brother died in front of him, his mother beats him daily, and there are weird people following him and fighting with him all the time. …And then there's Soubi. How could he describe him? He was… brash, and selfish… but one of the only adults around who could understand him. Looking down at his drink, Ritsuka thought about it more.

School was mostly uneventful, filled with the usual chatty Yuiko and jealous Yayoi, but the teacher didn't cry that day, which was good. It made it easier for Ritsuka to blend in. But he didn't expect that his sleep deprivation would start catching up on him so early. In the middle of class, his head slipped down, resting on his textbook, and everything blanked out. He must not have been out for long, because when he awoke next, a hand was on his head. He lifted it tiredly to look at the teacher. She was obviously worried.

"Ritsuka? Are you all right…? You look pale."

"Sensei…"

"EHHH? Ritsuka-kun is ill?" Yuiko exclaimed from next to him.

"Oh, I should have seen sooner! Gomen!" The teacher almost cried, and Ritsuka rubbed his eyes.

"I'm fine, sensei… don't cry, okay? I'm just tired."

"Mm… are you sure?" He nodded.

"Okay… but you still don't look good. Maybe you should go lie down. I'll let the nurse know you're coming."

To the nurses' office? Well, he didn't like the idea of someone worrying about him, hovering over him, but the idea of getting some extra sleep sounded good, so he picked up his bag and walked there. The nurse met him there and took his temperature and whatnot before letting him lie down. he didn't feel like he was sick, but the meter showed a temperature of 99 degrees. Well, it didn't matter. He could sleep…


	3. Chapter 3

Fevers were the worst

Fevers were the worst. Ritsuka could not recall the last time he was sick, but he sure hated it now. Once again, a fiery nightmare ruined his sleep, and so he was forced to lay in silence and heat for what felt like hours. There was no way of telling how long he'd been asleep, but even as he remained awake, nobody had once come to check on him. He was alone… Why is it that when you want someone to be there, no one was? He was sore, exhausted, thirsty… anything bad that could happen, was, and it only made Ritsuka feel worse.

Seimei would come to him. Seimei would take care of him. Seimei would love him! But… Seimei wasn't able to help anyone, anymore. He was just sitting there, strapped to a chair, dripping wet. His eyes were so empty, then; unlike how they always looked at him. Why? Why was he tied up? Why was he-

Ritsuka's eyes suddenly opened- the boy hadn't realized they'd even closed, and once he could catch his breath, he realized he was shaking. He was curled up on his side, sweating profusely and…shaking- like an abandoned kitten in the rain. Was it chills from the fever? The dream? Or maybe a combination of the two. But he was still alone, although it was slightly darker in the room than the last time he had opened his eyes. Though nobody was around, Ritsuka turned his head and spotted a bottle of water and a thermometer on a chair by the bed. Beside it was a note, written on a colorful piece of paper. He didn't bother to read it, given that it was probably from Yuiko, and went for the water, instead. It was warm, which wasn't very easy on his throat, but he drank some of it, anyway, and as he set it back on the chair, his eyes lingered on the thermometer. Dare he check how bad his fever may have gotten?

…Dare. He grabbed it in a shaky hand and put the awful metal end in his mouth and lied his head down on his pillow to wait for its diagnosis. A minute or two passed before the little beep, but the result was none too comforting. His fever had risen since he left class, to about 102.4. That wasn't good… He needed some medicine, but without proper sleep, he wouldn't recover, anyway. And if he went home, he feared that he would not be able to hold his ground against his mother. But he didn't want to be alone, either, and he couldn't stay at school all night! …But then again, there was another option… The image of Soubi's smiling face flashed before his eyes, and at that moment, he knew. He had to call him. Even if it meant leaving the school early, he had to at least hear his voice.

Somehow, Ritsuka managed to sit back up and search through his schoolbag for his phone, but he plopped right back down once it was in his hands. He just didn't have the strength to stay upright. He lay there for a while, just hugging the phone as he tried to catch breath he wasn't sure he'd lost, before looking down at the thing. He tried to debate on whether he should dial the number, but ended up doing it, anyway. It rang three times, and Ritsuka's heart fell. Soubi was such a liar, he thought, but just before he could push the 'end' button, Soubi's deep voice sounded from the other line, sounding somewhat winded.

"Moshi Moshi, Ritsuka! …Ritsuka?" Soubi knew it was him and kept calling his name, but Ritsuka couldn't find his voice immediately. After the third call, he forced his throat into action.

"S-Soubi."

"Ah, Ritsuka… I was beginning to think you weren't really there."

'My throat hurts… please, Soubi, don't make me talk.'

Ritsuka was still hurting, but hearing Soubi's voice was somehow soothing; although, Soubi took Ritsuka's silence for anger.

"I apologize for being late. Punish me as you see fit."

"Late?" What was he talking about?

"In picking you up from school, I mean. I had an assignment to finish, and Kio would not let me leave until the last minute!"

Ritsuka still didn't understand. He pulled the phone away from his ear to look at the clock on the screen. His eyes nearly popped out of his head at seeing how time had flown! It was almost an hour after school normally ended! He couldn't believe so much time had passed…!

"Ritsuka? Ritsuka, are you there?" The boy came back to the phone and cleared his throat once before answering.

"I'm here." His voice was hoarse. "Soubi, where are you now?"

"On my way to your house."

"No, go back…"

"What?" His voice was obviously surprised, and maybe a little hurt, but Ritsuka shook his head, forgetting that Soubi couldn't see it.

"Go back… to school. Pick me up."

"You're still at school? What for?"

"Just… because. Come pick me up?" He didn't want to make it sound like an order, even if Soubi wanted him to be demanding. He simply didn't have the tolerance for that. But, still, Soubi obeyed.

"I'll be there in ten minutes, okay?"

"Mm." And Ritsuka turned the phone off.

So that was it. Soubi was coming for him… Soubi would take care of him… right? That is what he wanted, wasn't it? He thought about it as he drank some more water and prepared himself for the walk outside. He gathered his things, straightened out his clothes a little and took a few deep breaths before rushing to his feet. Once he was vertical, his pounding head and uneasy stomach protested, but that was the least of Ritsuka's problems. The poor boy gathered his things, said a quiet goodbye to those who weren't there to hear it, and left the nurse's office for the stairs.

Honestly, he wanted to see Soubi. He couldn't quite place the feeling he got when he was with the earless blonde, but… maybe it was security? When it came to everyone else, he was always alert and focused, but not with Soubi. When they were together, he didn't have to hide, or pretend, and he didn't have to be afraid. However, with that security, there came another thing. When he was with Soubi, he sometimes felt… smothered. Ritsuka had never been spoiled or even paid much attention, but Soubi would give him so much attention and affection that Ritsuka felt that he just had to get away from it! But why? Soubi only wanted to care about him, so why was he running? Why run from that thing called "love"?

He just didn't know, and as he approached the staircase, he should have been paying more attention, for on the third step down, his foot slipped. Breath left him suddenly as he half-slid down two more stairs before managing to take hold of the rail- just a second too late. Unintentionally, he'd twisted his ankle on the way down, and he hissed as it throbbed. Taking in a shaky breath, he tried to calm himself and stand back up, since he couldn't stay there all night. It wasn't until he took another step that he realized he was missing something he'd been holding before.

As he took another shaky step down, he saw it, lying on the floor at the bottom of the staircase- his backpack. And lying not too far from it was his cell phone.

'Oh-no!'

Limping as quickly down the stairs as he could, Ritsuka mentally berated himself for not paying attention before gathering his things once more. However, as he tried to open his phone, it sparked unnaturally at him. Broken… That was all he needed! 'Oh-no' wasn't even the half of it, he thought. He'd just gone and busted his phone up- the gift he'd gotten from Soubi! …And this, strangely enough, made him want to see his fighter even more.

Frowning and putting his broken phone back in the pocket of his schoolbag, Ritsuka sighed and limped on until he reached the exit. He pushed over the double doors and was immediately assaulted by light and a chilly wind, but it was slightly better once he got more used to it and opened his eyes. …To see Soubi standing at the front gate. Though his vision swam a bit, he could still make out that shimmering blonde hair, his favorite jeans and a loose dress shirt. He was smoking at the time, but Ritsuka wouldn't yell; he knew Soubi was trying to quit. …Or at least he had better be.

Usually when Soubi would be standing there waiting for him, Ritsuka would act like he didn't care, but this time, when Soubi snuffed out his smoke and turned his way, smiling ever so slightly… Ritsuka's heart went nuts. He took a few small steps, trying to mask his limping, and that's when he noticed it. He wanted to be near Soubi. He needed to be! Now, more than ever, he craved Soubi's closeness and affection like a drug, like he'd been drowning and was just coming up for air. That's when he broke into a full run, his hurting leg forgotten, and threw himself into Soubi's waiting embrace. This behavior was much unlike the usual, but if Soubi was surprised to feel his sacrifice snuggling against him, he didn't show it, or voice any objections. Maybe that was one thing he loved about Soubi, that he did not refuse him when he needed anything at all. Even this. For some reason, he breathed in, smelling such smoothes scents, and though he was morerelaxed than before, and had initiated the contact for once, he still jumped when Soubi's large, warm hand fell onto his ears, pulling and tweaking them just enough to send a spark down Ritsuka's spine. Affectionate Soubi was kicking in.

"S-Soubi…"

"You're very clingy today…did you miss me?" He was trying to be coy, teasing him with that smooth tone, but Rtsuka wasn't in the mood to humor him.

"Mm… I wanted to see you."

Ritsuka had to admit that he was very distracted by the way Soubi was caressing his little ears, and the way it sent little waves of calm through his aching body. If he had any thoughts in his mind before then, they were long forgotten. But it was just as hard to ignore the weakness and exhaustion still nagging at him, waiting to consume him again, so he had to pull away, les he be discovered and smothered once more. Soubi tilted his head when he parted, but it was enough to remind him of their previous phone conversation, and the strangeness he'd noticed in Ritsuka's location and behavior.

"Ritsuka, when you called me-"

We should go, Soubi." Ritsuka interrupted.

"Go? …Home, you mean?" but Ritsuka shook his head. He didn't want to risk facing his mother, or even leave Soubi's side just then.

"Then where would you like to go?"

"…The park, I guess."

Soubi nodded, acknowledging the order and took the boy by the hand as they walked in the direction of the park. As they walked, Soubi started up a conversation, but Ritsuka's concentration was slipping. Every now and then he would nod or shrug, but he couldn't' manage too much more than that. It was, really, Soubi's hold on his hand, firm yet caring, that kept the boy's consciousness from slipping. He relied on that small bit of contact to keep from losing it, but thatday, it seemed, he was unusually unlucky, seeing as just when he needed Soubi most, the older man's phone started ringing. In order to answer it, he had to let go of Ritsuka's hand, and th boy started fading off, his steps slowing.

"Moshi mo- Kio? Kio, you sound upset." On the other line, Ritsuka could just barely hear Soubi's friend yelling.

"Of course I'm upset! I just looked at the grades from our last assignment!"

"Oh? And what are they?" Kio growled.

"Yours is higher than mine!!" Soubi was unphased.

"So? There's no reason you should be upset over that."

"The hell I shouldn't! I spent over six hours working on my project, and did twice as much, so how do YOU get the better grade?! It's unfair, I tell you!"

"Now, now, Kio, you know that quality is better than quantity."

"Shut up! Just hurry your butt back here so I can yell at you in person!"

"Can't. Sorry."

"What?"

"I'm with Ritsuka right now."

"Oh yeah? Well, put him on, then!"

"Do you promise to be nice?"

"Don't talk to me like a baby, you idiot! Just hand him the phone!"

This made Soubi laugh softly to himself- Kio was just too fun to annoy- but he wouldn't play around. Still smiling, Soubi looked down, only to realize that Ritsuka was no longer at his side, then around behind him.

"Ritsuka, Kio want…"

He paused and the smile started to fade, seeing how far back his sacrifice had lagged. His pace was far slower than normal, even when he was in a bad mood, and his eyes seemed…far away. Cautiously, he took a step back, towards the boy.

"Ritsuka?"

At the call, Rituka silentl mouthed his fighter's name before falling forward, almost limply. Soubi gasped and wasted not even half a second in reaching the boy to catch his fall. He gently lowered him onto his lap and rolled the boy over so he could be examined. Ritsuka's face was very pale, except for the obvious flush across his cheeks, and heat was coming off of him in waves. Cursing himself for not noticing the weakened state of his dear boy, Soubi shook him, only to receive a groan as a response.

"Ritsuka…" Still on the other line, Kio called out to him, but when he answered, the blonde's voice was deep with seriousness.

"Soubi? What's the hold up?"

"Sorry, Kio, but could you pick up a few things for me?" Sighing, Kio complied.

"What do you need?"


	4. Chapter 4

Warm… so warm now… Why is it always warm? Could it be from the…

And sure enough, flames soon invaded his memory again, but this time, something was different. He was Seimei tied to his chair, head down and dripping wet. Ritsuka could smell the putrid odor from the gasoline and he could feel it. He heard dripping, but how could he hear it from so far away? Then, quite unexpectedly, a droplet of something cold slid down his cheek. He wasn't crying, although he knew he should have been, but still, he checked. What he found was completely confusing and surprising- his hair was wet. No, not just his hair; his whole body was soaked. He shivered, trying to put things together in his head; trying to figure out why he was suddenly wet, too, but that smell… it was unmistakable.

Then, through the silence was that horrible sound of a lighter flicking open, and Ritsuka's eyes widened as far as they could. He tried to move, to flee, but it was no use! It was almost like he was bound… and sure enough, he looked down and found himself tied to a chair, just like his brother. No, no, no…. he struggled to get free… but it was already too late. The flames hit the gas and the fire found him. He watched in utter horror as his brother's body burst into flames, and not even a moment later, his own body was burning. It was so hot, so painful… The fire tore through his clothes and it licked at his skin before cutting deep into him, turning his blood ablaze. It hurt… his blood was boiling, skin peeling away, and he was alone. Nobody was going to save him. Just as the pain reached its height, he yelled out.

"Soubi!!"

--

Ritsuka jolted suddenly as consciousness returned to him; breath rushing into his lungs as if he'd not been breathing at all. But this time, when he awoke, he was already sitting mostly upright, and there were strong arms wrapped around his middle, restraining him. Once he'd caught his breath, the overheating boy took in his surroundings, trying to determine what was going on. Upon looking down, he saw a quite familiar-looking purple coat draped over him. Though he knew the owner of the coat, he could not get his mind to focus. Just under the coat, he could feel hands softly moving, slowly loosening their hold around him. It almost tickled… looking under the purple thing, he was shocked, though, to see deep scratches along the bare arms holding him. He bet that his fingertips were stained with blood. 'Oh God' he thought to himself, 'whose arm is this? What have I done….? Where am I?!'

"Ritsuka."

That calm, semi-deep voice… he knew it! Looking up slowly, as not to further hurt his head, he began to focus in on a face framed with beautiful blonde hair. Yes… he knew this pretty man.

"S-Soubi…" His throat still felt dry and hoarse, like sandpaper. He wanted to grab onto his neck, but he knew it wouldn't help relieve his pain. Luckily, Soubi knew what to do. From seemingly nowhere, he pulled out a chilled bottle of water and removed the cap with his free hand. He didn't stop there, though; no, not Soubi… he also brought the bottle to the dehydrated boy's lips and waited for him to drink before returning the cap. Oh, how his throat felt better, and Ritsuka couldn't have been more grateful after he then brought the cold plastic to his face in an attempt to reduce the heat. He hadn't realized just how warm he was until then! He was finally getting some attention, some help, and he let it sink in as his eyes slid closed. Although, only a moment of silence passed before the man beneath him shifted and brought him back.

"Ritsuka." His voice…. What was that? He almost sounded…fearful. Was Soubi afraid for some reason? Even in battle he hardly used such a worried tone… But instead of drifting back to that wonderful bliss of sleep, he decided to crack his eyes open and reply. He had a good guess as to what Soubi would say.

"Mm… Soubi. Sorry about… your arm. I did it, right?" He referred to the scratches, not exactly wanting to go into his current condition.

"It's alright, but you were tossing."

"Mm…"

Not quite satisfied with Ritsuka's lack of clarification, Soubi set the bottle softly down next to him and brought his much larger hand to the boy's hot and swelling cheek. Did he blush that time? He was so flushed from the fever, nobody would be able to tell.

"You're still very warm. Do you remember collapsing?" Ritsuka thought about it a moment before lightly shaking his head. Soubi's frown deepened.

"We should check your temperature; you may be sick."

"I did… Back at school."

"Oh? Was it high?" The boy nodded this time.

"In that case, you shouldn't be out and about now."

"No." Ritsuka said in an amazingly demanding but soft voice. Soubi almost jumped. "No…" he tried again. "I want to stay… for just a bit longer…"

Soubi silently agreed and watched as Ritsuka settled back against him more comfortably and looked around. The park was unusually empty at the time, but the few people who walked by paid him and his fighter no mind. It was boring, almost enough to make Ritsuka pass out again, until the sight of a mother and a little boy walked into his line of sight. The image of a perfect family… a smiling mother holding hands with her overactive little boy made tears come to Ritsuka's eyes. Unconsciously, he gripped Soubi's arm again, and seeing what the boy was staring at, the blonde understood. Without a word, Soubi tightened his hold on his sacrifice and gently lifted his chin up and back to stare into his warm crystalline eyes.

"You are loved, Ritsuka."

Those few words cut into Ritsuka like a knife. Soubi always said he loved him, and even though the words were different this time, he wanted to believe they meant the same thing. It was most recently, when he'd been feeling to cut off and alone that he needed someone to tell him they loved him, and for that, he could always count on Soubi. …but then, why didn't the man just outright say it to him? Ritsuka couldn't answer that, and the heat was returning to his weakened body. He needed to go somewhere else, he knew, so with a sigh, he lightly pushed away from Soubi.

"Maybe we should go now." But as soon as his feet connected with the ground, albeit softly, he couldn't contain a wince. This made Soubi snap back into action, and before Ritsuka knew it, his fighter was kneeling on the ground in front of him. A blush was surely rising to his cheeks, deepening the color already brought on by the fever.

"Ritsuka, is something wrong?" The boy was reluctant to answer, but as he shifted his left foot again, he knew he couldn't hide it any longer.

"My… my ankle. I hurt it going down the stairs." Looking down, Soubi stared at the boy's leg, and then he looked back up, as if to ask permission, before going into action. As carefully as he could, Soubi lifted Ritsuka's leg and let it rest on his knee as he removed the boy's shoe and sock to assess the damage.

"Hmm… it is swollen. You may have sprained it."

"I was afraid of that." Ritsuka whined a little as Soubi turned it around and prodded it, but not once did he raise his voice against the man. He understood his good intentions, after all.

"Do you think… it'll get better soon, Soubi?" So cute…

"As long as you stay off of it for a couple of days, it should be fine."

A couple of days? He couldn't afford to be inactive that long! He feared what his mother would say or do to him while he was cooped up in the house under her care. Though he was afraid, he knew he couldn't avoid his mother forever. At least he could spend a little more time with Soubi to raise his courage before facing her. He'd just realized that he had been spacing out, but the ice-cold bottle on his swollen ankle was just as painful as it was refreshing. Once he got over his initial shock, he opened one eye and sat his hands down on Soubi's hair.

"Thank you, Soubi… but we should go now."

"Not yet."

"Mm?" Ritsuka was confused, but that confusion turned into almost horror as he watched Soubi lean down more towards his leg, eyes closed. Burning even redder 

than any fever could cause, Ritsuka shouted out and roughly pushed Soubi's head. His strength couldn't do much, but the blonde got the hint and rose his head back up, almost loving the harsh grip Ritsuka had on his hair.

"Something wrong?"

"Y-yeah! Just what did you think you were doing just now?!"

"I was going to kiss it and make it better!"

"Kissing it wont do anything! You're an adult! You should know better!"

"Aw, but I want to make you feel well again, Ritsuka. I love you." 3

"I-I don't want to hear that! Geeze…" Face still burning, Ritsuka rose his head just a little to take a look around the park. Seeing that the cose was clear, for the moment, the boy quickly spoke. "Makeitquick."

"What was that?" Soubi almost sounded shocked. His charge was going to let him? It was… so cute!

"I said go ahead! If you're going to then you're going to, but do it now while nobody is watching!!" Ritsuka, the ever shy, would normally never allow such a thing, even in private, but Soubi was delighted that he was given permission, and he wasted no time in lowering his lips to softly kiss the boy's injury. His skin was still terribly hot, even there, and it made Soubi reassess the situation. As he rose back to his feet, he held out his hand for the younger to take. As soon as he did, the older man supported him as they walked.

"Ritsuka, are you hungry?"

"What?"

"You look like you haven't eaten. Would you like to get something on the way? You need to eat well to get better, after all!"

"….Yeah, Soubi… I guess you're right."


	5. Chapter 5

Soubi was right about needing to eat right when you're sick. Most of the time, those who are stricken lose their appetites, but when they can manage to put something in their empty tummies, they never regret it! Soubi was a smart person, after all! Anyone who knew him could testify to it, and he'd definitely been sick enough to know what he was talking about! Ritsuka did need some food!

…

But he never did make it to the restaurant. He collapsed halfway there, and Soubi had no other choice but to haul him up on his back and run him to his apartment, where two restless but curious adolescents were waiting. Neither of them expected to see the state of them both, but it wasn't something they'd never seen before.

Although he wasn't exactly confident about it, Soubi left Ritsuka in the Zero's care, only brief time, as he ran to meet Kio with some supplies. He tried to take a little time as possible and rushed right back… to find Youji wordlessly poking the feverish boy in the cheek, grinning. Obviously not amused, Soubi handed the bag of supplies to Natsuo and swatted Youji's hand away before taking a seat on the side of the bed.

Ritsuka hadn't made hardly a sound since he'd collapsed, and at the moment, seeing him resting so still on the pillow, chin-deep in his fluffy white comforter, Soubi felt helpless. …And delighted. Ritsuka was tough- far tougher than any child his age should have to be, but Soubi could not help but think it was cute, seeing him relax, even in unconsciousness. The flush in his cheeks was not at all comforting, though, and he set his hand back on the boy's forehead to guess his temperature. Youji sighed.

"Oiii, Soubi. When's Ritsuka gonna get up? This is boring."

"Mm… Ritsuka is very sick. He'll be taking it easy for some time."

"Aw, that's no fun!"

"Well it's not fun being ill either." From the low table, Natsuo chuckled, having been searching through said bag of "goodies".

"Telling him that wont do any good! He never was very bright, or considerate of others!" I return, Youji stuck his tongue out at him.

"Even if it is true…! We've never been sick! Not once!"

"That's right. So maybe we can't understand it!" Soubi removed his hand and half-smiled up at the two.

"Well, now would be a good chance to learn something, wouldn't it?"

While they talked, Ritsuka had started to wake up. His head felt light but his body and especially his chest, felt extremely heavy, like someone had been sitting on him. He groaned low in his throat, amazed at his quickly his voice had begun to hurt again. But then again… if it had just been a little while, then where was he, and… why couldn't he remember getting there? His movements obviously alerted Soubi, and the older man, as well as the two others, turned their attentions back to him.

"Ritsuka. Are you awake now?"

"S-Soubi… water…?" The fighter quickly complied and lifted the boy's upper body high enough to help him get water before setting him back down and tucking him back in. but Ritsuka couldn't stand it. He was already far too warm to be comfortable under the covers, and yet he was also shivering.

"I'll open a window." Ah, Natsuo… he was, between the two of them, the nicer of the Zero roommates, and Ritsuka was grateful. It took him a minute of looking to realize he was in Soubi's home, but still, he could not remember walking there, getting into bed, or… even getting changed! Though he couldn't see past the covers, he could feel that he wasn't in his normal clothes- it felt more like a nightgown. Irrational waves of panic began to take over the small boy, and as he struggled to figure out his situation, Soubi had to lightly hold him down.

"Ritsuka, calm down; it's okay!"

"H-how did I get here?! Soubi, what-" Quite suddenly, a thermometer was stuffed into his mouth, strangely, but efficiently silencing him. Still, the boy was still worried, so Soubi took a breath and lightly strokes the boy's right ear.

"Ritsuka, you collapsed again." Ritsuka actually seemed shocked. But Youji was enjoying the situation a bit too much, and he rose his hand in the air, speaking very enthusiastically.

"And we undressed you!" that made Ritsuka want to receed into the comforter, but with the troublesome thing still stuck in his mouth, there wasn't far he could go. Once the beeper went off and it was removed, he could lick his lips and move around a bit more, but the news wasn't so good.

"Your fever is still very high…"

"I was afraid… of that." Soubi tilted his head.

"How could it have gotten this bad? You usually take such good care of yourself."

"No thanks to your mother." Youji added. But Ritsuka ignored him.

"I haven't… been sleeping well, lately."

"That can't be all." Ritsuka lowered his head at Soubi's tone. He couldn't hide anything from him, could he?

"No… I… I also got up early… for school. I had to wait outside for some time and then wait in the hall before sensei let me into the room."

"You were out in the cold this morning? What a dumb idea!" Youji pointed out. Not in the condition to argue back, and not like he disagreed in the first place, Ritsuka only nodded his head. His sad demeanor obviously caught Soubi's full attention. The blonde sighed and reached out to continue petting the young boy's hanging ears. Something was definitely starting to show… Ritsuka's attitude had changed dramatically sometime within the past few days, but for the life of him, he could not figure out why. Ritsuka wasn't normaly one to open up about what was bothering him, but this was serious! Why was he so depressed?

As he was thinking, however, the boy in the bed began coughing something fierce. So, Soubi lifted him up again to give him more water and laid him back down. The coughing fit subsided and it left Ritsuka terribly weak and breathless. The boy was obviously distressed and uncomfortable, but Soubi would make absolutely sure the boy recovered his health.

"That's enough talking now, Ritsuka. Get some rest."

"S-Soubi…"

"Don't worry… I wont leave." And with his reassuring smile, Ritsuka closed his eyes and prayed for a long, dreamless sleep. But would his prayers be answered?


	6. Chapter 6

Soubi would have liked to see Ritsuka as he slept, snoring lightly, calling out for him in a soft voice, but what he got was not as enjoyable. Only an hour after Ritsuka fell back into sleep, his fever took over. The small, pale body shook with each ragged breath and he was sweating profusely. This kept Soubi rather busy, even if it was very late in the evening. He hardly ever left Ritsuka's side, changing the cold compress on his forehead and fanning him lightly. While he was worried, however, the zero pair were morbidly fascinated, leaning over the boy and listening to his pain.

"Wow, this is interesting…"

"So interesting."

"Soubi, isn't this interesting?" Soubi grumbled.

"No it isn't. This is serious."

"Is it? Why?"

Pausing just a moment to think about how to explain it, Soubi looked up at them.

"Don't you remember what happened when we fought? How your bodies started to fail you in the cold?" Both of them looked at each other and almost shuddered.

"I remember."

"Well, that's what's happening to Ritsuka, only with heat."

"So… if he's too hot, we should cool him down, right?" Soubi nodded. Natsuo looked around a moment before getting up. He returned a moment later with another cold compress.

"Soubi, hold his head up." Without questioning, he did as asked, carefully lifting the boy's head. Natsuo then placed the cold compress down right under the boy's neck. It was smart, and Soubi smiled as he set the boy back down onto it. Ritsuka shivered for a minute, but eventually settled down.

"Thank you. It's helping."

"No problem. Nagisa-sensei was sick once."

"Hard to believe."

"Yeah."

The two of them had a sort of understanding, then, and they all watched Ritsuka sleep for a while longer. None of them expected Soubi's phone to ring, though. Before he could reach over to answer it, Youji had the receiver lifted to his ear.

"Moshi, moshi! Soubi's phone!"

"Youji…"

"Hello? Ritsuka? Who is this?"

"Eh? Who are YOU?"

"Ritsuka… where is Ritsuka? Tell me where Ritsuka is!" Wincing, Youji pulled the phone away from his ear.

"Who is it, Youji?" Natsuo asked, only half interested.

"Some noisy woman! She's asking about Ritsuka!" At this, Soubi whipped his head towards him, eyes opening wide. In a dash, he tried to reach over to take the phone from the boy, but Youji grinned and stepped out of his reach. The woman was still yelling over the other end.

"Youji, give the phone to me! That's Ritsuka's mother!"

"Ohhh… that makes sense!" He brought the phone back to his ear.

"Ritsuka? You're his mom, right?"

"That's right. Where is he? It's so late and he hasn't come home!"

"Yeah, yeah. He's here, that's why."

"What? Put him on the phone! I want him home now!"

"Sorry, he can't come home just yet."

"Why not? Who the hell are you?"

"We're…classmates! Yeah, we have an important school assignment to work on, so Ritsuka decided to stay over to help us finish it."

"I don't approve! Put him on the phone!"

"Sorry. He's busy. Can I take a message?"

She hung up. Setting the phone back on the receiver, Youji was laughing. But Soubi was not so entertained. He hung his head and clenched his fists in his lap.

"Ha ha! What a crazy woman!"

"It's about time somebody told her off! Good job!"

"Thanks! Hey, Soubi, Ritsuka should thank us after this!"

"No… he wont thank you. You may have just made his life harder."

Neither of them could have understood that, but Soubi knew all too well the trouble that one phone call would cause for Ritsuka. He only hoped he could help 

Ritsuka get well quickly, in order to prepare him for the return home to his abusive mother.


End file.
